Baby Maybe?

Birth stories are trending. I’ve been reading a lot of them lately and it is so fun. They are all so different. The good, the bad, the joy, the fear, trials, triumphs, and both kinds of heartbreaks. It is inspiring how women are opening up and sharing their experiences, especially when it might be painful. It is also so cool to read and be able to relate when you think you’re the only one in the world who experienced something or are feeling a certain way.

So here’s mine! I could say it seems not as powerful as other stories that I’ve read but in reality I am so grateful for how low key it is. What a blessing to not have to face so many of the trials that are out there. What a blessing to be safe and healthy.

I first brought up a baby in spring 2016. Connor and I were headed to Newberg for the day to check out some open houses. I knew all day that I wanted to talk about it but I decided to wait until our drive back home to bring it up in case it sparked an argument. I didn’t want it to spoil the day! The clock kept ticking and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t know why it was so hard but I think I was just afraid of what his response would be. I didn’t want my feelings to be shut down. Well with about 10 minutes left of our drive I told him I was thinking about babies and that I kind of wanted one…

Gals, if you’re in this position right now, just rip the band aid off! Your husband might just surprise you.

The gist of his response was that we shouldn’t have a baby right now but it excited him that I was thinking about it. He was right though. We were waiting to hear back about whether he got a new job, which meant we would be moving, which meant I’d be looking for a new job too. There was too much unknown at the time and we needed to get some things figured out first.

8 or 9 months went by and we moved and both had our new jobs. It felt like every day I was getting on Instagram and seeing that someone else was pregnant. I couldn’t shake the desire. I held in my feelings for another couple months and finally built up the courage to bring it up again. Yes…I needed courage. It was not any easier bringing it up the second time than it was the first. It is a big conversation! My thinking was that we were settled, we have jobs, it’s a good time. Connor’s response: “I’m not quite there but I’m a 7/10. What are you at? I was at a 9. The only thing holding me back was my other half. That’s important! We left the conversation deciding we’d check in once a month, reevaluate, and go from there.

A couple weeks later, Connor went on a getaway with some college guys. He came home and everything was normal. Then we went to Home Depot to get some things for the house. As we were walking to the car, Connor told me he had something to tell me. “I’m a 10!” he said.

A couple months later I felt like I was pregnant. There weren’t really any signs. I wasn’t sick or nauseous. My cycle has never been normal so that didn’t give me any information. I just felt like I was or maybe I just REALLY wanted to be! I took two tests over the course of a week. They were negative. Gosh, did that feel like a punch in the gut to anyone else? I tried to go about my days as usual but I couldn’t forget about it. I started researching how to get the most accurate home test results. I read that it helps to take the test first thing in the morning for science reasons that I don’t feel like looking up again! A week went by and I tried again.


Pop the champagne!

I mean apple cider…


Something New Part 5

So here I am starting my own small shop through By The Way Clothing.

How I’m feeling about it…

  • Excited that I’ve worked through ideas and found something that I’m interested in trying

  • Clueless because I don’t know what I’m doing

  • Nervous about what people will think

  • Fearful that blog posts won’t be read, designs won’t be liked, items won’t be purchased

  • Grateful that I have the resources to give it a shot

  • Antsy to get going on all the ideas I have in my head

  • Overwhelmed by all the ideas in my head

Let’s just do it already!

I recently received my first order of sweatshirts. They’re about to hit the shop to be printed and will soon be available for purchase. Headbands and scrunchies coming soon once I get some sewing lessons from my mom! Thanks for all your support and can’t wait to support you back.

10_Design copy.jpg

Something New Part 4

I think I’ve found it. I actually found it before I started writing any of this but I thought it’d be fun to share the process anyway. Remember when I was talking about By The Way Clothing? My husband is the bold implementer…I’ve had a screen printing company at the tips of my fingers this whole time. Duh! Why didn’t I pounce on that? 2 reasons.

1.    Resentment: While in college, it felt like it took up time that I wished was mine. There were many late nights of screen printing in the basement while the girlfriends sat on the couch. Now I can see that it brought me one of my closest friends, wife of the dreamer! To this day I sometimes wish client emails, ordering, and all the things would take a back seat so that I can have the time.

2.    Sales: I feel like I get on social media and everyone is trying to sell each other things. I have a hard time coming to terms with being a part of that. I don’t want people to feel pressure from me. Also, sales takes boldness and I am so afraid of that.

How am I moving past these things?

1.    Somehow I came to the realization that if maybe I just joined in on the screen printing thing in my own way, it would be something fun to do together and I could come to love and appreciate it too.

2.    Words of wisdom from my mother. She let me in on the fact that people have been trying to sell each other stuff and support each others small businesses forever. Examples: Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, homemade goods, dairy and produce from farms…trade. It’s not a new thing! Anyone else’s mom a genius?

Something New Part 3

I think what I’m looking for is the popular term “side hustle.” I can’t write it without quotations because I’m a very passive go against the flow type of person, which I think is why I’ve been stuck in this “I want to do something but I don’t know what to do” rut for too many months now. I hate being cliché. I see someone’s “side hustle” success on Instagram and wish I could be like that but can’t bring myself to do it because everybody else is doing it! I’m very complaisant but value uniqueness. The following is a list of directions I’ve considered and made excuses for. I haven’t ruled all of them out but don’t know if they are for me. I do want to note that I am by no means against these types of businesses. In fact, the success of people in these areas is what has inspired me to find my own niche.

 There it is. Insights, advice, ideas welcome!

Also, several of the above ideas are linked to some gals who have inspired me. Check them out!

Something New Part 2

A lot has happened since 2012. Graduations, engagements, new jobs, weddings, more new jobs…


Also a baby happened! Which is what brings me here today.

I recently took on the role of being a stay at home mom. Well, it’s been a year but who’s counting? I love it so much. I can’t imagine the thought of someone else getting to spend all this time with my little girl. I’d be so jealous. So I’m doing it! While it is fun and exhausting, I find myself wishing I was little more productive during nap time. I find myself wanting to contribute to our family financially. I find myself constantly on social media seeing what everyone else is doing and envying their success. Though I know the roles of a mother are time consuming and of utmost importance, sometimes I can’t help but think that I’m wasting away a lot of my time.


Something New Part 1

In 2012 a new college student started a screen printing company called By The Way Clothing. He bought a press, kept it simple. Mostly created his own logos for fun and printed them on garments for friends. Then came along a friend and a business partner match made in heaven. A creative dreamer and a bold implementer. They decided to take it to the next level. More equipment, more garments, more clients. It turned into quite a cool thing. Money was going to kids to go to summer camp, the homeless were being helped, and high school students were getting trained in screen printing and becoming employees. The business had close to four prime years, fading a bit once college ended and life got filled with careers and new things. It sounds like the story is going to end…but the implementer continued the business as a side hobby, still extracting ideas here and there from the dreamer. By The Way Clothing still exists!